Eric Kent Edstrom

NaNoWriMo

Be Very Judgy of Others

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When introducing characters, let your POV character’s opinion show

Remember the “establishing shot” idea back on day one of this series? And remember how I said to filter setting through the opinions of your point of view character?

We can extend this idea to introducing anything in a story, including other characters.

Example of standard character description:

Ashley wore a tight fitting blue dress that fell to mid-thigh. Her hair was freshly done for a night out, wavy and full of highlights. A smoky eye and dark lip finished the look. Her clutch matched her sparkly heels. I caught a whiff of perfume as she came through the door, something at once floral and sensual.

Example of character description as opinions:

Ashley showed up at my place in one of her clubbing dresses. Satiny blue, and draping from her elegants shoulders. It clung to her curves, falling to mid thigh. It hinted at what it hid, and she wore it like liquid lingerie. Her presence overwhelmed me, tall in her sparkly heels, dark of eye with overpainted lips, all pouty. Everything about her suggested staying in rather than going out. The air that followed her through the door was scented with rain, but her floral perfume hinted at moonshadowed blossoms. She was in bloom—an intoxicating, elegant violet—rare, and wanting to be plucked.


Ahem. Whew. I don’t usually write descriptions like that. Excuse me. I need a drink of water, or something.

So you see how the point of view character (in this case the first person “I”) can reveal so much more when we allow their opinions to filter descriptions.

Same Ashley, different POV character:

Ashley showed up at my place in one of her scandlous “going out” dresses. I wouldn’t even call it a dress! I wore more to bed on my wedding night than that little blue wrap. And the way she’d painted her face, with those raccoon mask eyes and bruised lips. She could tell I was disapointed in her. I know she could because she tried to loom over me in her cheap heels, as if to dare me (her mother!) to say something. Anything. I kept my mouth shut and tried not to sneeze on her overpowering perfume. I complimented her purse. Inwardly I prayed for her. But there’s only so much a mother’s prayers can do for such a girl.


You will notice that descriptions filtered through your point of view character’s opinion reveal as much—or more—about the POV character as it does the character they are seeing.

Isn’t that beautiful? The reader loves this, because they get to sit way down deep in your POV character’s world, which makes it more real and much more fun.

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Compelling Descriptions are Full of Opinions

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One of the biggest challenges of writing a novel is dealing with descriptions.

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Most people get bored reading long descriptions of rooms, or castles, or women’s ball gowns. Probably because writers are bored writing such descriptions.

This is why many modern writers skip over descriptions entirely. But this can result in a bland world, or a sense that the action is happening in a white room with no furniture.

Our job as writers is to “invoke” the world. So here is my guidance:

When the events of your novel move to any new setting, whether it’s a bedroom, a concert hall, or battlefield, use the idea of an establishing shot.

This is from film and TV. It’s that wide shot that shows the apartment building on Friends, or the wide panning shot of the Shire in LoTR, taking in the green grass, the little road, and the hills with doors in them.

Simply start your scene with an establishing shot.

So how many words does it take? It can be a sentence, a paragraph, or a page, depending on how you handle it.

And this gets to my second tip:

When you’re writing, get yourself mentally in your character’s point of view. For descriptions of all types, tell the reader what your POV character notices about the environment. Tell us what the character’s opinion is.

And this is key: setting is opinion.

Example of standard description:

Grandma’s bedroom was square, ten by ten, with a window overlooking a back yard. Jen saw a tree back there, an oak. The walls were red and the bedspread with garish, neon floral embroidery. Grandma had been colorblind, and her stitching had been uneven, and that was before her stroke. The closet door was one of those sliding, folding things, but it was off its track and now hung open on one side. Jen saw clothes on the floor inside. And it stank as if a cat had died in there. Jen left.

Example of setting as opinion.

Jen felt claustrophobic the second she went into the boxy little bedroom. A sinister oak crowded too close to the window, blocking out what little light oozed through the autumn clouds. The crimson walls clashed with the weird floral bedspread—tulips and daffodils, but stitched in garish neon green and orange. She knew grandma was color-blind, but now she saw madness in those embroidered flowers. Her eyes went to the closet where the folding door hung askew on one side, as if it too had suffered a stroke. Inside, on the floor, lay a wadded nest of old clothes. And from that shadowed maw came the stench of cat urine and decay. Covering her mouth, Jen retreated.

The second is more compelling and invocative because it reveals the room through Jen’s opinions. It also reveals more about her grandma. There is mood and tone and atmosphere. And the primary technique is reporting setting through the opinion of the viewpoint character.

Practice this skill and you’ll soon discover that establishing your setting helps you understand your character better and helps generate plot ideas.

“Write. Don’t think. Relax.” —Ray Bradbury

Writing tips, tricks, and inspo straight to your inbox. Bi-weekly except for November when I send a daily email to keep you on track for NaNoWriMo.