When introducing characters, let your POV character’s opinion show
Remember the “establishing shot” idea back on day one of this series? And remember how I said to filter setting through the opinions of your point of view character?
We can extend this idea to introducing anything in a story, including other characters.
Example of standard character description:
Ashley wore a tight fitting blue dress that fell to mid-thigh. Her hair was freshly done for a night out, wavy and full of highlights. A smoky eye and dark lip finished the look. Her clutch matched her sparkly heels. I caught a whiff of perfume as she came through the door, something at once floral and sensual.
Example of character description as opinions:
Ashley showed up at my place in one of her clubbing dresses. Satiny blue, and draping from her elegants shoulders. It clung to her curves, falling to mid thigh. It hinted at what it hid, and she wore it like liquid lingerie. Her presence overwhelmed me, tall in her sparkly heels, dark of eye with overpainted lips, all pouty. Everything about her suggested staying in rather than going out. The air that followed her through the door was scented with rain, but her floral perfume hinted at moonshadowed blossoms. She was in bloom—an intoxicating, elegant violet—rare, and wanting to be plucked.
Ahem. Whew. I don’t usually write descriptions like that. Excuse me. I need a drink of water, or something.
So you see how the point of view character (in this case the first person “I”) can reveal so much more when we allow their opinions to filter descriptions.
Same Ashley, different POV character:
Ashley showed up at my place in one of her scandlous “going out” dresses. I wouldn’t even call it a dress! I wore more to bed on my wedding night than that little blue wrap. And the way she’d painted her face, with those raccoon mask eyes and bruised lips. She could tell I was disapointed in her. I know she could because she tried to loom over me in her cheap heels, as if to dare me (her mother!) to say something. Anything. I kept my mouth shut and tried not to sneeze on her overpowering perfume. I complimented her purse. Inwardly I prayed for her. But there’s only so much a mother’s prayers can do for such a girl.
You will notice that descriptions filtered through your point of view character’s opinion reveal as much—or more—about the POV character as it does the character they are seeing.
Isn’t that beautiful? The reader loves this, because they get to sit way down deep in your POV character’s world, which makes it more real and much more fun.
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